Thakur Thakbe kotokhon?

# "Ganer Opare" serial er prekkhapot'e lekha

“Aahatein…., Ho Rahin Teri…,Dil Ke Dar Pe Mere,Tu Yahin Hai Kahin Na Kahin”

“Hello, Ke Bolchen? …..O Tintin bol ki khobor? Tor to pattai pawa jay na ajkal…”
Phoner opor prante: “Sorry boss, kajer pressure bojhoi to..ekta show hit korte koto jhokki samlate hoy…taropor abar anchor gayeb ….replacement ashustho…khub tension jacche ajkal”

“Oi thakur thakbe kotokhon show ta? Hmm , Pupe’r abar ki holo? Besh bhaloi to show ta chalacchilo Gora’r jaygay”

“Ar bolo na…khawa dawa na kore ekhon bichanay pore gache Pupe, ar emon somay ei special epsode korte hobe…ki je kori na… tumi ektu help korbe?”

“Ki help bol? Ami parle nischoi korbo.”

“Tomak ei show ta anchor korte hobe, ajke,… ekjon special guest aschen aj.. amader rival channel onake anar khub cheasta korechilo Chandrashekhar Deb’er show te…but uni naki ei show ta insist korechen…tai oppurtunity ta miss korte chai na boss…eibarer moto utre dao show ta”

“Thik ache, kore debo…but tor ei celebrity guest ti ke, jar jonno eto tanatani pore gache? amake ektu homework to korte hobe.” [muchki hashi]

“Byaparta confidential. Kauke bolo na ekhon. Uni holen…………”

(Naam sune amar hath-paa thanda hoye gelo. Tintin ta saala ebar moha mushkil e phello to dekhchi.)

Tarpor du ghonta ami sudhu jol khawa ar toilet e katalam. Tarpor klanto hoye bose porlam.
“Ja hobe dekha jabe.”
………………………………………………………………………………….

“Nomoskar sokol dorshokbrindo. Amake ei show te dekhe obak hocchen? Ami ajker moto apnader host. Sohini ashustho hoye porar jonno aj amake astey holo ei special episode er jonne. Special??!!

Ha, thik e sunechen, ajke amader moddhe uposthit achen ekjon special guest. Na thak ebar theke puro banla-tei kotha bolbo karon ajke amadr sathe uposthit achen swayong Thakur”

Ami: “Apnake amader ei anusthane swagoto ar dhoynnobad amader sathe kichu muhurto katanor jonno”

Thakur “Amio ei anusthan ti dekhi .Eti besh bhalo ar ruchisonmoto lagey amar. Tai, amar o ekhane aste pere bhaloi lagche. Tomader ei anusthanti prothagoto rabindrasangeet er anusthan theke besh alada.
Tumi bollam bole kichu mone korle na to?”

A: [hotochokito hoye] “Na na, apni amake nischoi tumi bolben”

[Show suru howar agey amader 'scriptwriter bhadralok'ke Onake apni bole sommodhon korte dekhlam.Eni sei bhadrolok jini 8 theke 80 (porun Suchitra-Soumitro theke Prosenjeet-Jeet) sobike tui bole thaken. Tar mukh theke apni sona mane jeno bhooter mukh theke ram-naam sona. Kintoo aj setao dekha hoye gelo]

T: “Ta ja bolchilam, tomader ei anusthane Gora je sundor ar onnorokom bhabe amar gaan gulo poribshon kore seta amake khub akristho koreche. Amar Gora’r sath dekha korar icche chilo kintoo sunlum to se niruddesh” {sammanno hotash dekhalo jeno Onake}

A: “Mane apni bolchen je Gora’r onnorokom rabindrasanget apnar bhalo lage. Kintoo bishuddhobadira to eta niye onek jhamela korche”

T: “Dekho baba, amader somaj kono kichu notun ke khola mon e nite pare na, Jokhon e procholito dhyan dharona theke biporit keu kichu kore somaj tar biruddhe uth pore lege jay. Eta amar somay o chilo, akhono ache.”

A: “Thik e bolechen, Tothakothito rabindrapremik Sonar-Torir lokjon to Gora’r jobon athistho kore tulechilo. Sesh mesh Aryanyadeb….”

T: “Ki bolle Aryanyadeb?? Arey Ei naam ta to Anandabajar Patrikar ek rekhacritrrer prodhan choritrer naam. Tai na?

Ta Chandra ki akhon Aryandeb hoye gache naki? ” {Dustumir hashi dekha gelo tar mukhe}

A: “Ha ha ha, thik bolechen. Jodio tini Aryanyadeb hoye janni kintoo tar Sonar-Tari ke Khuliguha baniye phelechen. Uni to Pupe’ke okhane atke rakhte cheyechilen. Ta apni Anandabajar poren?”

T: “Hya, songbadpotro na porle ki chole baba? Amake ki tumi 1940 e atke achi bole mone korecho ? Ami tomader notun projukti somporke jothestho khojkhobor rakhi ar tar byabohar o kori”

A: “Mane internet , email, mobile??”

T: “Ha sob kichu, Oi Internet ta besh kosto kore ropto korte hoyechilo. Jagadish Bosu amake khub sahajjyo koreche otate. Ota jene amar lekhaporar onek subhidhe hoye gache ”

A: “Accha apnar ki email , facebook account ache?”
[Proshno ta kore baire Jhinuk'er deeke takalam. Parle o okhan thekei amake bhoshmo kore debe. Kotmot chokh kore amar deek e takiye thaklo. Nischoi bolche 'ekbar baire berao, tarpor tomar gordan nebo']

T: “Email to ache ekta kintoo seta nijer naam er por 007 diye. Ar Facebook er kotha to bolo na. Nijer account khulte giye dekhi amar naam e account to agey thekei khola ache. Amake bollo ‘your account cannot be created as this user name already exists’. Tai ar ki korbo. Facebook ar kora holo na.”{ektu jeno dukkhito dekhalo takey}

A: “Apni to onno kono chodmonaam e account khulte parten.”

T: “Bhanushingho naam eo to parlam na Facebook e account khulte. Otao je chilo” {Kachumachu mukh kore bollen}
[hai facebook, se janlo na se ki hariye phello.]

A: “Ki ar korben bolun, Khyatir birombona. Apni to ektu agei Gora’r kotha bollen. Apnar Gora-Prodipta eder kemon lage?”

T: “Ore nobin ore amar kacha…. Gora somporke ei kothai bola jay. Notun jouboner doot se sob kichu purano jirno
ke bhad bhenge bhasiye niye jabe. Prodipto to tar thik biporit. Shanto, buddhimaan, bichokkhon. Abeg er theke mostisko ke pradhannyo day. Ora thik jeno mudrar epith ar opeeth”

A: “Ar Pupe?”

T: “O bechari ke ekhono aro onek ghat protighat er moddhey diye jete hobe. Or etodinkar dhyandharona gulo je khorkutor moto bheshe gache Gora’r probhabhe. O je ekhon dotanay pore ache, mon ar mostisker tanporen cholche. Ekbar eta kete glei alor sondhan peye jabe”

A: “ekdom thik bolechen. Jodio jotodin ei tanaporen thake amadr show er TRP totodin beshi thakbe”
[Abar jhinuk er deek e takalam. Bechari tar somosto roshanol sesh kore pheleche. Hotash hoye kake jno phone korte laglo. nischoi Bumba'da ke korche phone.]

T: “TRP. Ha ei notun bostutir kotha sune besh amod pelam. Dorshok thik kore debe je tara ki dekhte chai. Kretabaad er ek chorom udahoron. Bhabchi amader somay TRP thakle amar lekhar ki hoto.”

A: “Consumerism, kintoo ei TRP’r jonnoi to amader show primetime theke night time e chole gelo. {dirghonisshas} .Tobe amar sikar korte badha nei ami kintoo apnar ganer golata je eto sundor seta jantam na. Ektu agey Ritu’dar anurodhe jokhon geyee uthlen tokhon sune aschorjo laglo”

T: Tomra je amar gaan ba abriti sono se to bohu jug ager. Gramaphone company theke banao sob, tao segulo amar onek briddho boyesh e tola. Tokhon ki ar akhonkar moto projukti eto unnoto chilo? {muchki hashi}”

A: “Ei sohoj kothaguloi je amra majhe majhe keno bhule jai. Ekta anurodh korbo. jodie 2 line geye sonan amader dorshokder jonno”

Tini tar gombhir golay gaite laglen ‘tobu money rekho, jodi doore jai chole….’
Gaan sesh e ek adbhut shanti biraj korte laglo recordng studio te.
Hothat amar mone pore gelo asol prosnotai to kora hoyni onake je “thakur thakbe kotokkhon?”

Tokhoni

“Aahatein…., Ho Rahin Teri…,Dil Ke Dar Pe Mere,Tu Yahin Hai Kahin Na Kahin”
“Hello Sir, Ami Smita bolchlam Standard chartered Bank theke. Sir , sudhu matro apnar jonno amader bank er torof theke ekta bhalo credit card er offer ache, Sir, apni ki interested?”
“Not Interested. Thanks”

[Issh phone ta switch off korte bhoolei gechilam. Ebar khub jhar khabo. Jak proshno ta kore pheli chotpot. Eibar ar baire takalam na karon bairer abohawa ta ki hote pare ami jani]

Eki Thakur kothay gelen? Amar to proshnota korai holo na.
Tarpor mone holo adao ki ei proshnotar kono jukti ache. 150 bochor poreo takey niye amader ei utsaho ei unmadona, setai ki jothesto noy? Amader ki ar kono proman lagbe?
Tai poriseshe mone holo etai je ‘Thakur thakbe kotokkhon?’ na kothata hobe “THAKUR THAKBE AJIBON”.

Char Ekke Char

Jah sei 9ta beje gelo. Thik je bhoy ta pacchilam. Eder sathe adda dite bosle ar somay er kheyala thake na. Nao thela samlao. Gariahut er morey ekhon auto r jonne ek ghonta daro.
Tarpor Autor nana bahana sono, ekhane jabo okhane jobona.
Bari phirte phirte sei 10ta beje jabe.
Gariahut morey ekhon ekdeek e auto der kayemi rajotto to rastar opor prante share taxi der parallel government. Tobe besh shanitipurno sohobosthan eder seta bolte hobe. Kirokom sorkar ar birodhi dol er moto era passenger der gola katche.
Baap re! Autor ja line to seta je kono ration dokan ke gune gune 5 goal dite parbe aj. Ebar sei 'last one standing' ke khuje baar kori.
"Dada ke 'last'?"
"Ami". Ek moddhoboyosko goph-darir gombhir uttor elo.
Mane ebar ami last holam. Jibon e nijeke eibhabe last proman korata je koto biroktikor ta ki ar bolbo. Ekhon opekkha kono Atlas er je amar theke ei 'Last' howar daybhar ta nijer kandhe tule nebe.
'Eta ki Garia r auto r line?'. Ek bheeru bheeru chokher proshno.
Uff gola to noy ekebare Lata Mangeshkar.
Amio totodhik binomro bhabe uttor dilam "Hya".
 Thik sunte pelo to? Peyeche seta bujhlam porer proshne
'Accha apni ki last?'.
Ei proshno sunle amar mukh theke sobsomay ekta biroki soho uttor beroy "Hya". Tobe aj byatikrom ghotlo.
"Hya ami e 'Last'."
Jibon e ei prothombar nijeke 'last'  howar jonne bhagyoban mone korlam. Bhablam bhogoban tumi  juge juge amakei 'last' koro. Mone mone geye uthlam "ami tomar prem e hobo autor last-sthanbhagi"
Prem! jah abar prem e porlam. Ei to kal protigya korechilam ek mash ar kono prem e porchi na. Ek dinei seta bhenge gelo? Jah!
O Garia ar amio Garia. Ek auto te ki jawa jabe? Gune dekhi to amar agey kota matha kota paa ache.
Seta ke 4 diye bhag. Autor songkhy beriye jabe.
35!! jah, mane ami 36 ar o 37. Alada auto. Bogoban ki kore eto nisthur holo. Arekbar gune dekhi. 37! bah ei to thik hoyeche. 38 ar 39 ek auto te jacche. Pashapashi bosey. Na ajke kichu ekta hobei. amar mon bolche. Tarpor.........

Somapti 1: Amader golper ei nayok nayika dujon e eki Auto te jaiga pelo, ar tarpor samanno kichu kotha, naam porichoy jana. Sei raatei facebook e take khuje Friend request pathano. Tarpor Inox, CCD ,manisquare, Facebook e relationship status  change. And they lived happily ever after.

Somapti 2: 'Arey tum yaha ho? Main tumhe kaha kaha nahin dhunda. Arey bola na main sorry. Galti ho gayee jaan. Chalo ab ghussa choro na.' Nayikar asol premik er agomon ar maanbhonjon er pala.Bhogobaner uddeshey Nayoker sokol prarthona, ghus, ghushi ke byartho kore ektu pore Nayika sei cheletir sathe chole gelo. Taxi kore.

Somapti 3: Nayok oversmart hoye ekta duto kotha bolar cheasta korechilo, jemon 'uff kolkatar traffic, kobe je theek hobe', 'ja thanda poreche kolkata achirei london hobe' ityadi kintoo Nayikar kaan er headphone Nayoker moner kotha bolate antoray hoye daralo. Nayok Headphone company ke shap shapanto kore mone mone bollo 'better luck next time'.

Somapti 4: Gonay bhul chilona. Tara dujone ek Autotei gelo. Pashapashi bosey. Amader introvert Nayok bar korek tera choker chahuni chara ar kichui kore uthte parlo na. Adh ghonta paar, gontobyo asey gelo ar dujone nijer nijer bari chole gelo. Hoyto bhobishyot e abar kokhono dekha hobe tader.

Hoyto sob kichu kalponik noy...

Sthan: adhuna Hastinapur
Kal: ekal ,okal ,sekal
Patro: maha-Bharat er

Draupadi ke sobar majhe aney phello Dushshason. Charideek e sobai hingosro swapod er moto ghire fello takey. Tarpor......

Draupadi: 'Amake keu bhachao, rokkha koro amke.'

Dhritorastro: 'Tumi bachao bachao bole na chechiye borong Dushshason ke ekta rakhi poriye dao, bhai bole dako ekbar.Saraswati montroccharon koro. Tomar sob bipod kete jabe.'

Draupadi: 'Apnar ei dushchoritro putroke bhai bole dakte hobe? Deshe ki ain kanun nei? Pitamoho Bhishma, apni to sobar protipalok. Apni, apnar ainrokkhok, sobai  kothay?'

Bhishma: 'Sobai ache kintoo, mane tara je ei shoto shoto kurusontan der , tader poribar, toshyo poribar der surokkhay niyojito. Sadharon jonogoner surokkhrthe keu thik nei ekhon.'

Draupadi: 'Bah, bhalo kotha sonalen pitamoho, deshe ainer shason bole kichu e roilo na.'

Gandhari:' Ami to ain eri protimurti ma darupadi, kintoo somoshya holo amar chokh je badha, ar kaan eo ajkal thik sunte pai na, senior citizen hoye gechi je... sei kobe 1950 e..... Thak se kotha.. Tumi Pandav der sahajjo  chaicho na keno?'

Judhisthir: 'Ami ei bishoye tibro protibaad korchi, protibaadsworup ami ei kalo batch ti pore nicchi.'

Bhim: 'Ami eta niye ekta political andolon suru korbo, sorkar ulte debo.'

Arjun: 'Ami facebook o twitter e er protibaad janacchi.'

Nakul o Sohodeb: 'Amra monbati niye mouno michil korbo.'

Draupadi abhimaan e mukh firiye nilo.

Sanjay: 'Ha ha ha pritibaad. Oi to sob rong mekhe song seje protibaad korbe.'

Draupadi:' E ki kotha apnar mukhe Sanjay? Apni mahamoti Bidur er putro, apnar mukhe ki ei kotha sobha pay? Ekbar apnar pitar somman er kothatao bhablen na eisob bolar agey?'

Bikorno: 'Kotha bole boddo somay nosto hocche..'
 Durjodhoner uddeshe ' Dada ami ei rod ta enechi, dekho ki kori eta diye'

Durjodhon: 'Morey tore gele tui je phashi te jabi re Bikorno.'

Bikorno: 'Amar kicchuti hobena, ami je juvenile. '

Kunti ke probesh korte dekhe.

Draupadi: 'Ma dekhun ei duratma ra ki korche?'

Kunti: 'Koi duratma? Na na esob sajano ghotona, ami esob manina.'

Kripyacharja: 'Tobe ekta kotha bolte bhddho hocchi , Draupadi tumi jodi borkha pore thakte tahole to Kaurav ra tomake dekhte peto na, ar sommanhanio korte parto na.'

Dronacharya: 'Ar hya , chowmean khawa tao bondho kora dorkar, sob kichur muley ei chowmein.'

Korno:' Ar ki ba dorkar chilo tomar eto baire ghoraghuri korar? meye hoye jonmecho, purushder shason e thakbe, antahpure jibon katbe, ta noy cholle tumi purushder kadhe kadh miliye? Eta ki mene newa jay?'

Draupadi:' Apnader ei sob kotha sune ami hashbo ki kandbo seta bujhe uthte parchi na. Amake sahajjyo korar ki keu nei ekhane?
Hey Krishna , hey Taron korta tumi dekha dao, tumi amake rokkha koro.'

Nepothye Krishner gola

"Hey Panchali, tumi ki jano koto nari roj dhorshita hocche? Koto nari roj pon er jonye boli hocche? Toto konya bhrun gorbhei mere dewa hocche? Koto nari kormokhetre, barite, rastay roj roj lanchita hocche?
Sonkhya ta nehat kom noy. Ami to tomader bachiye esechi sei dwapor jug theke. Kintoo akhon aporadher ja sonkhya bere jacche tate tomader onno kono upay ber korte hobe. Nije protibad koro. Nijeke durbol bhebo na. Tomar ei durbolotar sujog e ei Dushshason ra nicche jug jug dhore. Annay Dekhle protibaad koro. Tomrao karo theke kom noy. Tomader hathei ardhek prithibir malikana. Rukhe darao. Somaj e poriborton aste choleche. Khub shigroi........"

8.05 er Metro.

Oi to 8:05 er train dhukbe. Bas sudhu chokh bujhe jhap dewar pala. Sob problem solved. Tinnir sathe khitir mitir, barite pawnadarer humki, office e boss er jhar, baba mayer sathe monomalinyo.... sob sesh , ar 5 min tarpor kal khoborer kagojer pacher patar ba deek e 2 by 3 inch er khobor hoye jabo. "Metro rail e attoghati jubok"

'you are my pumkin pumkin hello hunny bunny....tell me something something.....'  

ei dekho... ekhon ke phone korche? Tinni ki? Bhool bujhte pere mitmat korte chay? na eto unknown number... dhorei dekhi....

"Hello, ke bolchen?"

"Sir ami abc bank theke Ria kotha bolchi.Apnar 2 min somay chai sir"

'bank er phone! metro rail er moddhe kono dorkari phone kora jayna kintoo era thik network pay.... oi kothay ache na wherever you go our network follows... dekhte hobe sworgge eder call asey kina'

"2 min ? janen amar jibon er ar ei 4 min 35 sec baki ache ar tar theke apnake 2 min diye debo ami?"

"Sir, apni amader bank er ekjon mulyoban customer."

"Mulyoban? Jak ei sesh somay keu ontoto amar mulyo bujhte parlo. Ta bolun ki bolben?"

"Sir apnar jonye amader bank ekta credi card offer korche. Tar features holo...."

"Arey daran daran daran, credit card? jar sara jobon sudhu credit korei kete gelo takey credit card? Bhaloi bollen. Ta apnader card ami keno nebo?"

"Sir er sathe apni cashback paben, reward point, movie ticket free....."

"Thak thak, ar bolte hobena.Bujhlam apnar ei card nile amar jibon ekebare 14 inch black and white tv theke multiplex er screen hoye jabe. Kinto madam ami je eta nite parbo na."

"Sir ekbar dekhun na please. Amader card er sathe ekta pre approved loan o ache."

"Sunun madam, sposto bhasay bolchi. Ami ekhon nijei denar daye dube. Office e boss er sathe roj khitmit, prem e halfsole, barite bawal. Tai atmohotya korbo thik korechi aj. Ekhon Kalighat station e, ei 2 min pore train asche"

"Sir atohotya jokhon korben e thik korechen ta amader credit card ta ekbar niyei koruun  na attohotya. Jibon dewa to khub sojoj, je kono din dite parben. tobe aj ei card ta nile amar ei masher target puro hoye jabe. ar ek masher jonne amar babar chikisshe ta korte parbo, barite choto duto boner mukhe khawar tule dite parbo, robibar partopokkher samne seje guje dariye babake ei swapno dekhate parbo te tar meyer o biye hobe ekdin. ki sir bhebe dekhun na ekbar, apni eto gulo lok ke ek masher bachar rosod jogate parben....Sir, chup kore gelen keno? Apni achen naki jhap diyechen?"

"Na , jhap ar dite parlam koi. Aj bari jai bujhlen to. Jibone problem to thakbei tobe tar jonno paliye jabo keno? Dekhi apnar credit card er sathei ekta notun kore lorai suru korte."

Bhardra'r Bostrohoron

'Dekh aj paper e ki diyeche.' Gatu hafate hafate ese bollo. 'Ki diyeche? toke bharatratna dewa hobe?' Bhadrar tipponi. 'Tui 

'Arey dekh e na' Gatu bollo. Bhadra paper ta chiniye niye ucchoshor e porte laglo. 'Aaaj mukhomontri ghosona korechen je Sombhu Mitra er jonmodin upolokkhe agami 22 e august theke star theater e amateur nattoutsob hobe. sekhane natok er utsahi sobai jog dite ppaarbern....... '

'Se to bujhlam. Ta tui thik ki korte chaichis Gatu?', Ami bollam. 'Arey amrao natok korbo. Tai to Gatu.?' Rajat bollo. 'Thik bolechis rajat' Gatu r uttor.

'Accha natok korle ki poisa debe amader?' Ani jante chailo. 'E sala poisa poisa korei gelo. are sonoskriti silpo eisob kichu bujhis tui?' Bhadra bollo. 'Or sonoskriti mane suny leone ar silpo mahe hostosilpo' Sumit er tipponi.

'Onek chablami hoyeche ebar seriously plan ta thik kor. Ki natok ? ke ki role korbe? arey Surit chup kore na theke kichu bol na.' Rajat bollo. 'Plan to ekta mathay eseche. Mahabharat ke notun angik e prokash korbo. Droupodir bostrohoron er part ta. Ajkalkar somay e eta khub relevant. thik thak korte parle award o jute jete pare kopal e' Ami bollam. 'Ar ke kon role korbe? tar cheye boro kotha Droupodi ta ke hobe?' Gatu bollo. 'arey amra ageykar diner jatrapalar moto korbo. Chelerai meye sajbe, pechone orchestra bajbe...' ami bollam. 'Ta amader moddhe Chapal Bhaduri ta ke hobe suni?' Rajat bollo. 'Guess kor?' ami chokh mere bollam. 'Hmm' rajat bollo. 'Hmmmm' Gatu bollo. 'Naa na , ei aaami na, ami keno ? na na ... ani ke kor draupadi.' bhadra atke uthe bollo.  'Amake Draupadi korle kintoo ami natok korchi na' Ani r ghosona .Etokhon Sumit chupchap sunchilo, ebar bole uthlo 'Arey tui to, tui chara ar ke .... arey ekbar bhab ki exposure ta pabi tui. bhab tui kader footstep follow korchis...sisir ghose, sombhu mitra, utpal dutta, chapal bhaduri.....' 'Rituporno Ghosh' ani sesh korlo kothata. 'Ei dushason , phajlami na mere chup kore bosh.' ami bollam. 'Ami Dushason, ami bostrohoron korbo... hey hey  hey....' Ani utsaher sathe bole uthlo. 'Ei prothom Dushason er role peye kauke eto utsahito hote dekhlam' gatu bole uthlo. 'Cast ta holo Bhadra- Draupadi, Ani- Dushason, Gatu- Krishna, Rajat- Dhritorastro, Sumit- Judhisthir, Bose- Korno, Mama-Shakuni, ar ami Durjodhon.' 'Ami late e asechi bole amake Korno r role dibi tora?' Bose er mridu protibaad. 'Na korle tor kaan tene lombokorno kore debo' rajat janalo , 'athoba Bikorno' gatu jog korlo.

Tar por din theke lake e amader natok er rehersal jorkodom e suru hoye gelo. Amra lake er public der kach thekeo utsaho pete laglam. Jodio lake er kichu premik jugol tader shanti bhongo korate amader kinchit kotu kotha bolechilo kintoo mohot karje esob hotei pare tai amra esob patta di ni. er moddhe ekdin ek Brihonnola Bhadrer abhinoy dekhe okey 10 taka upohar diye gelo. Seta peye Bhadra aro utsahito hoye uthlo ar soyone swapone nijer nari sotta ke jagroto korte laglo. Dekhte dekhte natok er din uposthit holo. Amra giye dekhi theater dorshok asone purno tobe free entry thakar dorun amra jerokom er dorshok expect korechilam thik serokom class er dorsok hoyni. Stage ta amra duto bhag e bhag kore rekhechilam, samner deek e dyutsobha ar piconer deek e ekta basher macha kore sekhane Srikrishno ke rakha hobe thik hoyechilo. Amader Kestothakur ekta moi chore sei machay uthben eta.

Natok besh bhaloi suru holo. Bisesh kore jokhon Draupadi sobahy prothom uposthit holo tokhon minute du-ek sitir awaz e amader natok bondho rakhte hoyechilo. Ar hobei ba na keno, Bhadra ke draupodi roop e bhaloi maniyechilo. Ami to Jidhisthir ke etao bolte sunlam 'Ulllush , ekebare makon diye mekhe khawa jabe.' 'Control Judhisthir control' Korno bole uthlo. Dhritorastro o  kalo chosmar phak diye archoke Draupadi ke lolup dristite dekhte laglo. Tarpor sei knon elo jar jonne amader Dushashon apekkha kore boshe chilo. Bhadrar bostrohoron, thuri Draupadir bostrohoron. Krishna r o itimoddhe machay uthe sari supply korte ready hoye thakar kotha. ami tao sms kore dilam je 'machay uthe porechis to?'. Krishna reply dilo 'arey chinta korisna , ei star theater ami amar hater talur moto chini. hey hey.'

Dushason moha utsahe sari dhore tante laglo ar Bhadra (draupadi) hath jor kore 'hey madhusudhan hey madhusudhan bole dakte laglo. Ek minute du minute hoye gelo itimoddhe sari o paray sesh hoyegelo tobu 'Modhusudan' tar sarir stock supply kora suru korlo na. Kintoo Dushason to njer character e puro dhuke roiche ar amio 'kya baat kya baat, najuk najuk' bole utsaho diye jacchilam. Tai utsahito hoye se puro saritai khule phello. Stage e sudhu Draupadi ar tar 'Polka dotted' bermuda. Dhritorastro ekhon tar kalo chosma khule haa kore Drupodir sei rup gilte suru koreche. Dushason sei bermudar proti o hath bariyechilo kintoo Draupadir dhakkay chitke pore julu julu dristite amar deek e cheye takiye poroborti adesh erjonne apekkha korte laglo.

 Tobuo Madhusudhan er patta nei. Hothat 'tup' - ekta mobile phone , tarpor 'dhup' - mohinimohan kanjilal er sari ebong sobar seshe 'dhoom'- soyong Sri Krishna stage e abirbhuto holen. Ebong jei Draupadi Krishna ke dekhte pelo onmi bacha bacha khisti marte suru korlo. Etokhon dorshok bhabchilo je egulo sob natok e angsho kintoo Draupadi r mukher bhasha sune tara bujhte parlo je natok ekhon dwapor theke koli juge abotirno hoyeche, abotirno hoyeche rajsobha theke cha er thek e. Taro prostut chilo. Prothom dheel ta amar e mathy porlo. Hothat stage er sob alo nibhe gelo ar amra chacha apon pran bacha bole stage chere palalam.   

Pechone e sudhu poreroilo Sri Madhusudhan. Se chitkar kore bolte laglo 'ore rajat, ore Surit, ore Bhadra...amake ektu tule dhor amake phele jashni.....' 

Pore sob ghotona bojha gelo. Madhusudhan er to alpo role tai se bore bose facebook korchilo ar seta korte giye somay er gyan chilo na. Hothat Draupadir chitkar e hush phere ebon tarahuro kore machay uthte giye sobsuddho niche pore jay. Ar stage er alo nibhe jawar jonne dayi amader Korno. Bipod bujhe se guti guti paye stage theke kete pore ar stage er alo nibhiye daye. Ar Madhusudhan , sedin se amader sahajjo charai palate perechilo tobe paye hete noy ambulance kore. Amra ekhon lake e adda mari na. roj 6ta theke 8ta amader adda bosey Ruby Hospital e , Orthopedic ward e. Okankar nurse ra besh sundari. Tader golpo pore abar kothono bolbo.

Bhadrar Pachali

On public demand the 3 parts together(edited & updated) for the first time…
Here it goes……

Baruipur holo oti kukhato sthan
bohu mental patient setha kore odisthan
tahar moddhe jini number one hon
tahari pachali ami korchi bornon
naam tar holo giye bhadra abhi
kaajkormo kichue nei, kathi kora hobby
tar mortodham e agomon er itihash holo-
puro attention diye sobai koro seta follow
ager jonme se sorgyo-dhamer darwan chilo
sekhan theke prithibite demoted holo
jaliye berato sekhane se sob debotare
irritated surogon gono petition kore
bole “swarga theke maltake tarao ebar”
keu keu chepe dhore hari r collar
bollo tara harike “tui holi paler goda
kobe taracchish maltake bol haramjada”(ma-bonera ei sobder sthan e ‘beep’ uccharon korte paren)
aboseshe sri hari ordinance dilo
“aji hote bhadra abhi deported holo
ei siddhanter repurcation dangerous hobe
mortobashi bacha bacha khisti amay debe
tader upor bhadra dara bohu atyachar hobe
tai as compensation tara ‘katrina kaif’ pabe
ar ekta prediction kore pheli ebar
bhadra er kirtikahini ghoorbe mukhe sobar
beche thaktei e cheler 1000 statue hobe
regular kak-era tatey ‘potty’ kore jabe”
erpor sri hari ekta short break nilo
champagne ar dollar er phowara uthilo
debotara anondete pagol hoye galo
background e ‘kajrare’ bajite lagilo
sorgete punoray shanti phire elo
mortobashir suffering er quota suru holo
bhadra jedin prithibite 1st appearence dilo
tar hamba hamba chitkare jogot mukhorito holo
sob poshu pakhir kaan jhalapala holo
pakhira sob bharat chere bangladesh palalo
sekhane tara refugee hoye theke galo
ration card voter id kichu nahi pelo
char peye pranira holona border paar
dui desher majhkhane je chilo katatar
frustrated hoye they prayed to sri hari
kachumachu hoye hari bollo “I’m sorry”
“mairi bolchi okey niye ar parchilam na guru
amar suffering sesh hoyeche tomaderta suru
chaile tomra ei cheleke di kokiler swar ”
kintoo tatey kokilder apotti ghorotor
sobai mile brainstorming korte laglo
at last monushyo swar finalize holo
awaz bodlaleo cheler shobhab change na hoy
ghas khay ar mathe gathe chore se beray
tai tar jonno khoja holo ekta gowal
gowaler naam chilo ‘b d memorial’
sekhane manush korar hazar cheasta holo
teacherera regular takey thangate laglo
kintoo ei theory tar goray chilo golod
gadha pitiye manush isin’t applicable for ‘Bolod’
ei situation e kobi ki bolten ami jani
“REKHECHO BHADRA KORE MANUSH KORONI”
teacherder sob cheasta jokhon holo fail
punishment holo suru phele diye scale
classer baire sorboda se korto adhisthan
‘Outstanding’ studentder moddhey 1no sthan
jonopriyotay tar level chilo irshonio
‘ABhadra’ bole dakey jara bondhusthaniyo…
bondhuder sathe jokhon se mondarmoni gelo
prokritir sobha dekhe chosma haralo (ekhane prokriti mane nature noy…..)
lal kakrar chobi se jokhon tulte jay
bacchara chepe dhore pocket kete nay
raichak swimming pool e tar pa kete jay
shurusha karini ke dekhe se kende phele prai
tarpor buffet e emon khawa khelo
kottripokkho pordin theke item komalo
ebar ektu future cholo chole jai
saal 2012 ‘world’s end’ ar deri nai
prithibi bachanor sob cheasta fail hoye galo
haal chere istonaam sobe jopte laglo
scientist ra mondir giye sankirtan kore
sadhu sonnashi ra jay chandni bar e
ekdin Buddhadev swapnadesh pelo
debi roope Mamata abhirbhoota holo
bollo’ prithibi bachanor upay ektai
tar jonno bhadra ke manush kora chai’
e ashombhob kaaj ki adao kora jabe?
rastrapunje sobe mile ei kothai bhabe
oboseshe Osama bin laden dilen bidhan
‘biye dao bhadrar ‘- etai somadhan
jedin theke bhadra abhi bibahito holo
se ar bhadra roilono , ‘MANUSH HOYE GELO’
prithibi dhongsher hoye gelo somadhan
ei holo bhadrer mohan ‘attobolidaan’
eti bhdrar panchali hoilo khatam
users guide boli sunoho akhon
e pachali ekmone je korbe shrobon
chul pore tak pabe chander moton
bisesh kore 1st april korle pothon
chaturborgo phal labh hoibe tokhon
chul er songe tar daant o pore jabe
choshma ar hearing aid lagate hobe
jodi keu rock & roll surey pachaliti pore
ekta noy dosta matha hobe tar ghare
rap kore e pachali gaile jeno
gayer rong pabe alkatra somo
tobe himesh er sur e keu eta path korona
public hebbi kelabe keu banchabena
e pachali jodi karo bhalo lege thake
rochonakar ke shadhubad koro prottyeke
e panchali jodi karo bhalo nahi lagey
bhadra ke jutopeta koro sobar agey
pachali sesh holeo thaklo pore resh
kobir kothay “sesh hoyeo jeno hoilo na sesh”…….

(Regardless of the enormous number of threats & warning that I got from Bhadra I am posting this publicly. Pray for me)

Beltala Blues

During my driving days I realized that driving was easy but getting 'license to drive' was the tricky part. As my classes were on the verge of end, the thought of failing in driving exam started creeping into my mind. There was as such no valid reason for it but somehow I was not at all satisfied about my driving skills. If it was me taking my exam I would have surely failed myself. Blame it on my cab driver who is excellent behind the wheels & the dream of driving like him in those 15 days made me sulk. The only change I noticed was the attitude of my teacher during the last few days. He transformed from his criticizing self to an encouraging self & was even encouraging me in my mistakes. I suppose the reason behind it might be the 'Gurudakshina' (some extra income), which I promised to pay if I passed the exam.
The D-day was near. The two devils I mentioned before (Biswal & Ojha) had already passed their exams. They told about their experience, gave me tips for success & eventually made me more nervous.
On that day I reached at 1 pm at Maddox Square (a place with many old memories not relevant to this topic though). The place was a complete chaos. There were people of all shapes & sizes, cars of prehistoric ages & a few people from the training centers. But the most awaited one was no where seen. We waited & waited like a band on Romeo's waiting for Juliet to appear. But time was precious so we all were given a trial run before the final exam. As always there was gender bias-ness & we had our turn after the fairer sex finished the trial. The person from the training center was a grumpy man (as told before by Biswal) & was misbehaving with everyone ,except a few ,(bias-ness one more). This time the car did not stop while starting. I was regaining my confidence. Next was trial for signal test. We were made to stand in a line. One of them started shouting 'Right turn, Left turn, Starting signal.......' & we were showing those. This reminded me of my school days where we did PT during sports class. I was doing as miserable as I did during those PT classes. My terrible sense of direction made the situation more worse. It takes time for me to determine what is left & right. Blame my apolitical outlook for this. So I decided to do 'follow the leader' & started  doing exactly what the person in front was doing. Next was the turn for the actual exam.
After a wait of 3 hours our Juliet finally appeared. Well, he can surely give a competition to the annoying girlfriends who keeps you waiting for hours. Our group was quickly divided into 4 subgroups & were posted at 4 corners of the park. First it was gender bias-ness once more. He was sitting in the front seat beside the driver & 4 persons were told to enter the Maruti 800, one in front, 3 behind. When the first one finished his test he was deserted at the middle of the road & another from the back seat occupied his place. This process continued till all the 4 were done with. Next they picked up 4 more from the nearest available corner. There was another Training car following the maruti 800 with another 4 persons for situations when there was no nearest corner available. To top it up one of the training center guy was jogging beside the test car giving instructions to the driver. Now you can figure out the speed with which we were driving. In our case the Grumpy guy started running. 'Well, now I realize the cause of his grumpiness.' 
When it was my turn to take the drivers seat, he asked me my name. I replied. 'Well I did answer the first question right'. Next he ordered to start the car. I started the engine, pressed the clutch, shifted gear & did the most difficult task successfully. 'to lose your gear in 5 seconds without stopping the car.' Well I did it. Done with the hard part. I was so overwhelmed with my success that I did not realize that my car was going to bump into a parked car. The constant shouting from outside made me take control of the steering & I quickly shifted to second gear. 'Stop here' he ordered. My driving test was over. With rats running inside my stomach(due to both tension & hunger) I returned to the starting place. The successful candidates were returned their applications whereas the failed one complained, argued, begged for another chance. I got my application back. After everyone was done with their test we were routed to Motor Vehicles office at Beltala. It was 5 mins walk from the Park. Now my long legs & young age came into use. I quickly took top gear & overtook most of them & finished among the top 5 at the office. Well I deliberately left a few people in front of me as I was reluctant to be the first one. At the signal test the first signal which I showed was wrong. 'Oh shit, not this time. This was supposed to be the easy part. I don't want to fail here. God, please save me.' My prayers were heard and God sent his angel. 'So you live in Rajpur?' I heard another voice. Yes' , I replied. 'I also live there' the Angel replied. My Angel was in form of a old person working there who was checking my documents. I started chatting with him & suddenly realized that my test was abruptly over & another person was giving the signal test. But the Blues did not end there. Due to server issue we had to go there the next day for the photograph & signature. Well that's another story.