Office parties are events happening once in a blue moon. Here we are served FREE food, free DRINKS & above all Free ENTERTAINMENT(after few pegs). The simple person sitting next to your cubicle can act like superman (or in cases Veeru of sholay, munni of dabang etc etc etc)after a few pegs. Here goes one such day, one such party, one such experience. Since I always have the liberty of stepping into others shoes, I will do that in this case too & get into the shoe of one of my colleague.
Office life never seemed so enjoyable. I was serving my honeymoon period (aka notice period) in the office. All I wanted was to make those 90 days the most memorable & enjoyable time in this tenure. So when I got to know about this party (drinks) there was no second thoughts for me on going there (though I did not get the invitation). To avoid the checking at entry gate we arrived an hour late in the venue. The checking is only done for the first 30 mins or so(Well, the guys doing that also have the rights to enjoy the party).
The first thing which caught my eye was the corner which was mostly infested by the blue brigade (that is the drinks counter). I made a promise to myself that today I wont stop before 6 pegs (declared that to my colleagues too) & quickly rushed towards the counter.
At the stage someone was showing some presentation regarding some achievements of some company.Oops it is my company (who cares when you have the Vodkas & Whiskeys luring you ) .They tried much to bring the audience near the stage but somehow the crowd preferred the diametrically opposite corner.
After an hour or so one of my friend asked “how many pegs?” “Three” I replied. After another hour the same question. “THREE” was my same answer. (at that time I could not figure out what was after three so decided to count like this.. one, two, three, three ,three…………THREE). Haven’t you heard about the term ‘gentleman’s word’.
With previous experiences of this kind of parties I knew that small fry’s like me always drinks like camels, eats like pigs & leaves(or gets carried by others) early but big shots waits till the crowd leaves & then start drinking like camels, eating like pigs & leaves(or get carried by others) at the end. Since I was none of the two (remember the honeymoon period) so I decided that I will start drinking with the small fry’s & end with big shots.
After 3 hours or so(could not remember exactly how many hours, as I was still stuck at three) some one got over bored and fell in the pool(3-4 ft deep). One big shot(I will call him Mr U from now onwards) asked us to get him out of the water quickly. He told “Hey , please get him out . If any incident happens today we will not have any such parties” “So the future of such party is your real concern” I thought. I took that guy out of his water bed & decided it was enough liquid for the day. Lets have something solid.
At the dinner table suddenly I found a hand on my shoulders. It was the same concerned Mr U. “So you have resigned?” “Yes” I replied.
“May I know why? Where are you joining? Who is your manager?”
He threw a volley of questions. I replied to the last one.
“I don’t know him. Who is his manager?“he said. I answered. Mr U did not know him too. Later he found a known person 3 levels up line to my manager. He took out his cell phone & called him. “Do you know this person(he told my name to him)? …….Okk” The conversation was over.
Mr U “Don’t think that since I am since I am sitting beside you I am same as you”.
“Not in my wildest dreams. I have much hair on my head & am better looking than you” I thought.
Mr U “Which college?”
Me “Heritage”
Mr U “Whats that? Haven’t heard about it.“.
“Thats your problem dude” I thought.
Mr U “Do you know from where I have studied?”
I was not interested.
Mr U “I have been to the IIT’s & IIM’s“.
“Whats the big deal? At the end of the day both of us are drunk by the same free vodka of the same damn organization” I thought, but remained silent.
Mr U “Do you know I own a BMW?”
“Now that’s some difference since I have a Maruti 800.” I thought.
Mr U “Hey.You are not believing me? I could have shown you my BMW but my wife took that to my in laws house“.
I remained silent.(And tried to look depressed since I Just missed my chance of seeing a BMW)
Mr U was constantly toggling between the topics. “Do you know I was a DJ in the IIM’s?”
He then told many things about his IIM days.
Seeing me not interested in this topic he said “Do you know that I can take away jobs of all the people sitting in your floor(Among them was his manager & the location head of Kolkata )?” “No f@!#$ng body can do anything to me here.”
During this time some f@!#$ng body heard our conversation & came to him.
“Hey U…… Its enough. Now go home.” That f@!#$ng body ordered.
“No ….da .This guy is not believing me.“. He pointed towards me.
(Now what have I done. I was listening patiently.)
But ….da seemed not interested in listening to him. He called some more f@!#$ng bodies the all of them carried Mr U out of the venue.
Later around 1 am in the morning I was also taken out of the venue by the security guards. And that’s how that party ended for me.
Office life never seemed so enjoyable. I was serving my honeymoon period (aka notice period) in the office. All I wanted was to make those 90 days the most memorable & enjoyable time in this tenure. So when I got to know about this party (drinks) there was no second thoughts for me on going there (though I did not get the invitation). To avoid the checking at entry gate we arrived an hour late in the venue. The checking is only done for the first 30 mins or so(Well, the guys doing that also have the rights to enjoy the party).
The first thing which caught my eye was the corner which was mostly infested by the blue brigade (that is the drinks counter). I made a promise to myself that today I wont stop before 6 pegs (declared that to my colleagues too) & quickly rushed towards the counter.
At the stage someone was showing some presentation regarding some achievements of some company.Oops it is my company (who cares when you have the Vodkas & Whiskeys luring you ) .They tried much to bring the audience near the stage but somehow the crowd preferred the diametrically opposite corner.
After an hour or so one of my friend asked “how many pegs?” “Three” I replied. After another hour the same question. “THREE” was my same answer. (at that time I could not figure out what was after three so decided to count like this.. one, two, three, three ,three…………THREE). Haven’t you heard about the term ‘gentleman’s word’.
With previous experiences of this kind of parties I knew that small fry’s like me always drinks like camels, eats like pigs & leaves(or gets carried by others) early but big shots waits till the crowd leaves & then start drinking like camels, eating like pigs & leaves(or get carried by others) at the end. Since I was none of the two (remember the honeymoon period) so I decided that I will start drinking with the small fry’s & end with big shots.
After 3 hours or so(could not remember exactly how many hours, as I was still stuck at three) some one got over bored and fell in the pool(3-4 ft deep). One big shot(I will call him Mr U from now onwards) asked us to get him out of the water quickly. He told “Hey , please get him out . If any incident happens today we will not have any such parties” “So the future of such party is your real concern” I thought. I took that guy out of his water bed & decided it was enough liquid for the day. Lets have something solid.
At the dinner table suddenly I found a hand on my shoulders. It was the same concerned Mr U. “So you have resigned?” “Yes” I replied.
“May I know why? Where are you joining? Who is your manager?”
He threw a volley of questions. I replied to the last one.
“I don’t know him. Who is his manager?“he said. I answered. Mr U did not know him too. Later he found a known person 3 levels up line to my manager. He took out his cell phone & called him. “Do you know this person(he told my name to him)? …….Okk” The conversation was over.
Mr U “Don’t think that since I am since I am sitting beside you I am same as you”.
“Not in my wildest dreams. I have much hair on my head & am better looking than you” I thought.
Mr U “Which college?”
Me “Heritage”
Mr U “Whats that? Haven’t heard about it.“.
“Thats your problem dude” I thought.
Mr U “Do you know from where I have studied?”
I was not interested.
Mr U “I have been to the IIT’s & IIM’s“.
“Whats the big deal? At the end of the day both of us are drunk by the same free vodka of the same damn organization” I thought, but remained silent.
Mr U “Do you know I own a BMW?”
“Now that’s some difference since I have a Maruti 800.” I thought.
Mr U “Hey.You are not believing me? I could have shown you my BMW but my wife took that to my in laws house“.
I remained silent.(And tried to look depressed since I Just missed my chance of seeing a BMW)
Mr U was constantly toggling between the topics. “Do you know I was a DJ in the IIM’s?”
He then told many things about his IIM days.
Seeing me not interested in this topic he said “Do you know that I can take away jobs of all the people sitting in your floor(Among them was his manager & the location head of Kolkata )?” “No f@!#$ng body can do anything to me here.”
During this time some f@!#$ng body heard our conversation & came to him.
“Hey U…… Its enough. Now go home.” That f@!#$ng body ordered.
“No ….da .This guy is not believing me.“. He pointed towards me.
(Now what have I done. I was listening patiently.)
But ….da seemed not interested in listening to him. He called some more f@!#$ng bodies the all of them carried Mr U out of the venue.
Later around 1 am in the morning I was also taken out of the venue by the security guards. And that’s how that party ended for me.
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